Looking for Love On All the Wrong Websites

It seems like the search for love is a craze that is spreading through the dorms of NYU. A certain latin lover (who was previously linked with an unnamed Brittany Hall JAP) residing in Rubin recently posted a personal ad in search for his true love - cocaine. The posting described this hispanic hottay as "18/145 lbs/very good looking/latino/5'11." With stats like that, it's surprising he has yet to find true love. When this ad was discovered, we sent a team of private investigators to authenticate its validity.

See here as we have come to the conclusion that the picture matches with actual ones of the individual from his personal webpage.



As you can see, the shape of the nose in the picture is a direct match with that of the picture below. The clothes and sunglasses seem to have been purchased at the same stores. Even the other individual in this picture has her head cocked in the same manner. In fact, the team of photographic researchers have come to the conclusion that the two are actually the exact same picture, except the one above has been cropped slightly to hide its true identity. A clever move, one must agree.



By the way this personal ad is titled, we can infer that this "18yo" is "looking for hot ski male." He then goes on to state that he will "deffinetly [sic] accomodate your needs" if he finds " a dude to ski w[ith]." He writes, "i want to experiment, and by that i mean every kind of way."
One might find it unusual that he is looking to ski in a city like New York. However, our personal linguists have deduced that "ski" is a slang term meaning "to snort cocaine," according to urbandictionary.com.

In conclusion, after days of tiresome research, we have uncovered that this latin lover is only in search for love - something that the rest of us all long for. I applaud his courage in the face of adversity. I do hope he finds the coke love that he longs for.


Wrap Your Tool,
DSL