three cokeheads, two packs of cigarettes, one courtyard

Earlier this evening our sources spotted three of NYU's most noted smokers chatting in the courtyard of the third north residence. An eclectic group this trio was: one toothpick, sneaker-loving, perpetually wearing sunglasses film student, one Free City adorned, skinny ass Stern bitch, and one blonde, banged, boot obsessed Gallatin whore. One might ask what these people might possibly be talking about on a Sunday night, and, we can certainly tell you they're not discussing current events. It appears that these chimneys all participate in an...extra-curricular activity that involves a heavy nose and cardiac excercise. I guess it explains why their hands shake as they reach for the next Marlboro, or why they can't stand still for one second, or why they have a constant sniffle, and even why they have gotten a collective 14 hours of sleep since the start of the semester. The addicts are also rumored to have gone to a romantic dinner at an Indian restaurant earlier this week-menage a trois anyone? Our investigators were able to track down the bill from that night and as expected they shared three beers, a bottle of champagne, and a side salad. Their waitor divulged that they left numerous times for cigarettes and only ate one tomato. Looks like our previous Rubin Hall ski enthusiast isn't the only one at NYU having a white Christmas.

We'll keep you updated on the groups next (frantic) moves, as we have a feeling the story is only going to get better. And we here at the Grape Dutchess are taking it upon ourselves to take CPR classes so that when one of them collapses from a heart attack we can save them.

Peace, love, and all things purple,
Dat Smoker Bitch