E! True Hollywood Story: My 15 Minutes of Fame

After the snoozefest that was this year's star-less Oscar ceremony, we had a hankering for some juicy celeb goss. Lucky for us, we had to look no further than our very own NYU family. At a nearby off-campus party populated by numerous divas, the biggest diva of all turned out to be the former child star who has in the past been rumored to have seen "dead people." Apparently this ex-Oscar nominee lost all six of his senses when his ex-girlfriend showed up to the party uninvited. They launched into a heated argument which culminated in an explosive rant from our fave teen star, during which he was overheard screaming multiple obscenities including "Fuck You Cunt!" and "I will cut you up into little pieces." Was this just the booze talking? Or could this be another E! True Hollywood Story waiting to happen? At least if the doomed ex-girlfriend does end up kicking the bucket, he will still be able to communicate with her. What a crazy (M) night (Shyamalan).



In other celeb news, a certain SoTo hottie was seen basking in the sun of the spotlight this past weekend like a true famed diva. Our fave tall sleek-haired LA fashion-loving sweetheart was spotted at the hip Lower East Side club, The Annex, spinning tracks and dancing fly behind the DJ booth last Thursday night. Though she says she's no expert in the area of DJing, she sure made us jeal with her hot mixing skills. We also hear she's recently joined the ranks of the hottest hipster fashionistas in New York with a sweet new internship at Nylon Magazine. Way to go girl. Looks like you're on your way to stardom.

As for the rest of you commoners, don't fret. Your 15 minutes of fame are most likely just around the corner.

You Know You Love Me,
Gossip Gay
supercut cracKhouse
The Grape Dutchess

From Quarks to Cosmos (and All the Crazies In Between)

Have you been feeling like one of your friends around 3N has been acting a little bit strange? Two NYU studs have revealed new sides to their ever-evolving sexual identities. It has been confirmed by the celeb look-alike himself, that Pete Wentz has developed a taste for women. Fourteen year old fans rejoice! In more plausible news, a Brittany Blondie has allegedly switched from straight to bi. Every gay boy in 3N rejoice! Don't get us wrong, we think he's pretty rad, but we thought he was a little limp wristed for a bro...

Perhaps these changes have something to do with the alignment of the heavenly bodies. Did you catch that lunar eclipse in the c-yard? The ten percent of the sky visible through our beloved towers provided a great view of the crimson glow. The night provided another view of sorts, that of those 3N residents who are dedicated to their courtyard experience. Not everyone came out to view the eclipse, however. The GD is sad to report the following courtyard crazies to be M.I.A.:
-3N's Skankiest Perrson
-Nocturnal EaTo Drug Fairy
-Broken Hearted Mark Ruffalo Look-Alike
-Ladies Fav Film Stud
-Pint-Sized Tatted Hustler
-West Coast Pixie Cut Peace Lover

As for those courtyard crazies we half-expected to disappear, you guys are troopers for sticking around through the tough times:
-Binikix (now more Indian than ever)
-Misguided Roommate-Conflicting Chonga (still addicted).




Smoke yourself silly head,
The Grape Dutchess
Alice Rabbit
DAISYandconfused
Gossip Gay

Housing Crisis?

Deposits are in. Mixed-sex housing deadlines have passed. Registration is certified. Nervous? Anxious? Find yourself unsure about where you're living next year? If this is you, dear reader (which rumor has it, it is), we've got the answer for you.

Look no further than Facebook's Marketplace. This feature allows other students in your NYU network to post their charming real estate offerings at rather affordable student prices. Why I, just the other day, searching for a cute place close to campus, came across an enticing ad.

$1,800 - AMAZING APT right on NYU CAMPUS!

I shouldn't. I daren't. It's just too good to be true. But, I clicked away.



Hmmmm, thought I, to myself. This place sounds pretty good. No... wait... pretty familiar?

8th and Mercer. Nice location.

Great bedroom (big enough for a queen sized bed, a desk, book-case, shelves, etc.)

Nice room.

About your roomate: Her name is --------, she is a sophomore at the New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts. Very nice, clean, quiet, respectful, fun. Serious student. Very easy to live with. To live here you should be: Clean, respectful, pleasant, calm, positive, with good housing background.

Wow. She sounds awful nice. Reasonable, too.

**If you are someone who is; Wild, Crazy, likes to party a lot, does drugs, smokes or drinks excessively, loves to entertain and have lots of friends over, this is NOT the place for you!

Sounds at lot like some of the people we know.

Wait. This situation sounds hella familiar. No. Could it be? Is this roommate-seeking anti-partying serious student dancer in fact the same crazy Russian who kicked our favorite Free City rebel out of her second attempt at housing after a few shameless nights of harmless partying?

I strongly advise against living here. If you're anything like us, your lifestyle won't be appreciated by your new roommate.

just looking out for you,
supercut cracKhouse

PS- This just in: MISSING! Cartloads of Chanel makeup, maybe fifteen pounds in weight. Value: Priceless.

Spread the LoVE

goood morning sunshine, how've you been? seen anything interesting lately? heard anything juicy?
Tell us your tattleTales
and whiSper your Secrets
let us know who's been sinning lately, wherever they may be
cause we're going GLOBAL
grapedutchess@gmail.com

Send It In......neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of Night....

supercut cracKhouse
DAISYandconfused<3


P.S. i hear global is the way to go, the chicest thing since LA Fashion Week...it seems our StarMag was correct, and after tons of Papirazzi, firestorms, and stints in the crazyHouse the Olsen Twins are fleeing to Paris. Au RevOir.

Quit Playing Games With My Heart

Behind the Music: The Artist Formerly Known as Nichze

Blond hair. Blue eyes. Dashing cool smile. These are the qualities that made the Artist Formerly Known as Nichze turn from local star to worldwide teen sensation over one winter break. This veritable Prince Charming (who has been mistaken for Jude Law) had over the past fall been witnessed dallying with many different 3N divos including our beloved Pete Wentz, infamous NoTo pretty boy, and even one divA: infamous partyer BB Gun. A real catch- blonde, charming, romantic- Nichze attracted many who thought him perfect potential boyfriend material. But then the winter came and with it brought an international vacation for Nichze where a kind and loving suitor turned him from sweet gentlemanly romantic intellectual to heartthrobin' heartbreakin' Samantha Jonesin' no settlin' down teen idol bachelor with buckets of confidence. A divo, in short.

Once returned to the USA, Nichze, in his newfound heartbreaker queenness, began trouncing socially from man to man, with no end in sight. He severed ties with his winter break Maharaja romancer and in spite of all the romantic pleas and gestures, has no plans to settle down any time soon. He has been seen gallavanting around town with many hot bachelors: hot n' spicy Wagner Pretty Boy; lean and lanky SoTo poet (btw... happy bday); even the betrothed Pete Wentz lookalike (though sources say they're just friends).

Will any of these boys be able to stop the unstoppable Artist Formely Known As Nichze? Or will his carefree heartbreaking ways seal his status as a bachelor forever?

love's a tricky business,
supercut cracKhouse

PS- Breaking News! Looks like Nichze's party ways finally got the better of him. At an NJ college visit late last night, sources say our Prince Charming drank himself into a blackout haze, disappeared from sight for an unspecified amount of time, then showed up passed out in the hallway in just his boxer briefs. Cute Calvin's Nichze, Maybe if you could settle down a bit, you'd do a better job of keeping your pants on.

Speakeasy: The Musical

Extra! Extra! READ ALLL ABOUT IT!!!

The gang arrived at their usual juice joint around 11 pm, looking for a night full of booze, brawls and bitches. They walked in to find the lady of the night...out of commission?? The password for entry was said to be "Happy Birthday", but for some of us it seems it didn't turn out so happy. After stumbling onto the street, unable to speak coherently, she was whisked away by the big guy himself towards an evening full of forced sobriety. Sorry, girl...hopefully your actual birthday will be the cat's meow, but you certainly gave us all the heebie-jeebies.

Also, a certain Aphrodite look alike was missing....again????? She met up with the gang after her Italian Stallion was finally "swiped out". As always, the date was sealed with a kiss. We hope his trip home didn't end in a DUI for driving under the influence...no, not in a car. You may have spotted him on his bicycle peddling across the Brooklyn Bridge.

Spotted at this same speakeasy was the Indian prince himself. One might say he was the bee's knees based on all the broads he was scoring. Many were anonymous (even to him), but there may be a keeper in this bunch. Aphrodite was on a roll after the Italian Stallion left, and couldn't help but take advantage of the spaced out skiier. They were spotted canoodling against walls the entire way home....guess they had a bit too much of the Cove's signature moonshine. The otherwise unresponsive Fall Out Boy star was revived only by sexual requests via Mount Olympus, which were happily carried out.

A blunt also made an appearance at the Cove...this was deeply appreciated by the green-loving Greek Goddess who quickly indulged. How appropriate.

In keeping with the night's Gatsby theme, Mrs. Buchanan herself was present, flanked by her tap-dancing beau. The happy couple couldn't be separated, even by one very determined fella. After the gangster tried to cop a feel, a gun was allegedly pulled followed by a forceful "Beat it!" from the Vaudeville-loving Tischie. The Thoroughly Modern Millies quickly lept into a speeding cab and returned to the safe haven of 3N.

We're gonna go cut a rug, talk to you cool cats later.

Cinderella of the North
MrsTambourineManQoGPaL

You Got Swiped.

New York, New York: a city of passion, crimes, and misdemeanors. At least for some of our very favorite 3N partygoers. This weekend got off to a particularly rocky start for six infamous 3Ners: SoTo blunt-rolling, scarf-wearing Rapunzel, pale-faced wino JAP from Dirty Jers, Pete Shitshow Wentz (in his hot espresso trench), Brittany's resident homo divo, SoTo celebutante-lookalike, and Northern Chestnut-Haired Princess. The six were spotted outside of the hot 21st Street club Porky's near midnight surrounded by four burly New York Policemen, 1 giant angry black bouncer, and a few of the club managers. From a distance, it was hard to discern exactly what was going on, but sources close to these outlaws gave us an inside scoop. It seems these danger-loving crazies attempted to enter, at approximately 11:30, the aforementioned nightclub Porky's. It seems the underage 3Ners, when asked to present proper identification, handed over false identifications-- and not even good ones. (It is later revealed that not all six of them presented their licenses. Last in Line Canadian Princess managed to sneak out in back. She has denied any involvement with the situation.) In response to this blatant law-breaking act, the angry bouncer pulled the group, now five, out on to the street where he pulled out a cellphone and dialed 9-1-1.

A blaring police car then screeched to the curb and encircling the kids, demanded proper identification. Slowly, and ashamed, they handed over their underage licences. After about a 20-minute wait in the cold evening air, the five were given back their cards along with an NYPD Summons for a court date in the spring. (Rumor has it, Northern Diva is suspected by her friends to have given sexual favors to the policemen in exchange for citizenship. She has once again denied any involvement.)

Later on in the night, in a bold attempt to drown themselves in their newfound miseries, the group gathered at their fave trendy dive bar for some harmless partying. Unfortunately for one of them, their night of run-ins with the law had not ended. Celebutante-Lookalike, in the style of Paris Hilton, had her cellphone (and wallet) swiped by an unknown thief. And to add to the tragedy, her important Summons was inside the wallet, which further complicated her sadness. There are no leads on the case, and the chances of return are very slim.

Well kids, you got swiped. Hard. First your ID's, then your personal belongings. Looks like you maybe you should work more on being reasonable and less on being shitshows.

Good Luck,
supercut crackhouse
MrsTambourineManQoGPaL

PS- Spotted: Italian Stallion leaving the East Tower residence of green-loving Greek diva Friday night looking... satisfied. Could it be that something (or someone) else was swiped that adventure-filled night? Or could an age gap lead to goodnights for this Tony and his Maria?

Who Remembers Junior High?

britney was hot. now 7 had just come out. everyday after school i ran home from the bus stop to watch trl/chat on aim. my mind was filled with utterly meaningless information and all i knew how to do was obsess. ill be honest, when there was nothing left to say about ourselves, my friends and i stooped to a regrettable low of talking the shittiest shit about people. that was fun. not. dont get me wrong, though, i had a good time. its just... that was over four years ago.

RUTHLESS COMMENTERS BEWARE!

the point of grape dutchess is not to create conflict within our beloved third north. we talk in such ways that are not supposed to be taken seriously. rather, we write what amuses us. if it does not amuse you, then stop fucking reading this shit. give it up. this isn't junior high anymore.

im late,
alice rabbit

p.s. bar/bat mitzvahs were the shit. best part about jr. high, undoubtedly.

3N Star Couple on Perez

Pete Wentz and his new boyf are so scandalous that even Perez Hilton wants a piece of the dish. Way to go Pete.





Happy Mardi Gras,
supercut cracKhouse

Take Me to the Cove

The lack of posting lately may indicate that we have been running low on goss. Not so! Here's a few recent and juicy events..the GD has just been too busy indulging in the lusts of glamour at the Cove to find their way onto blogger!

1.Greek Goddess snags Italian Stallion: The self proclaimed "Queen of Green" was seen signing out a mystery visitor and sealing the date with a kiss.

2. After getting kicked out of housing, it seems our favorite free city free spirited ex-3N skiier has seen some light in the future. It seems the hot new residence and a cold new roommate have encouraged her to seek comfort in a series of unidentified boytoys:
a) A half asian key-bump afficianado
b) An American Apparel deep-V wearing ex-model
c) A South African Irish pub frequenter at least 20 years her senior

3, Rumored union between LA waif/fashionista and one fair-haired green-loving shy guy from the school of Non-Old. Though rumors remain unconfirmed, the two have been spotted all over the East Village and sources say the young gentleman has spent more than a few nights lodging in Third North.

4. For a time now, NoTo French lumberjack has been spending his nights with a fiery chic LA chick. According to a source, Lumberjack's roommate - Ex-Dreadlocked Garcon - has complained about having to hear the whisper of love from the West Coast couple in the middle of the night. Ear-plugs anyone?

5. Puppy for Sale!....Well maybe only in our dreams, but if you're looking for a fun time go to craigslist. We've only got positive feedback about this infamous match-making site from our fave latenight c-yard loving divas, and they've got a pet of their own. That's right, a sex slave. I know I want one.
Helpful Hint: Guys will submit to one-way video chats if you send pics...especially if they're of your hottie friends....See you soon, on the web;)

6. Brittany's resident JAP (and apparently ProjRunway's favorite designer) has been recently linked to a certain curly-haired divo from a nearby 3rd Avenue dorm, just a few blocks away. Though it seems these two got off to a rocky start, they have, in the recent present, been thrown together with passion. Rumor has it, after a crazy night in lower Manhattan playing beer games to hits from the nineties, the sophomore phenomenon and this Boston-born prep-school queen found themselves embracing in the heat of the night. Will things last for these two budding lovahs? Or will these homos be no mo?

7. Mile high club, anyone? SoTo's MK-idolizing, blunt-rolling diva killed her time on the 20-hour trans-atlantic flight in the company of a dark-haired sophmore with an impressive taste in 90's jams. Though this Cliff Street bachelor is rumored to have another Gal on his radar, we have faith that our very own 3N Indian princess will kindle his heart in the end...

8. Last but not least, seen recently together is our favorite new couple: the lovely Pete Wentz lookalike and his Zefron-esque Fairymount companion. The two have been spotted numerous times entering and exiting the Union Square subway station, always starry-eyed and loving. Inside sources say the pair spends most of their time chatting on the phone during deep late-night convos, debating spicily about politics and the future, and canoodling privately in Mr. Wentz's North Tower residence. Will this union last? Or will Pete's new Ledger-esque addictions prove fatal for this relationship?

Sitting in the den (the crack den that is),

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Daisyandconfused
DSL
Cinderella of the North
The Grape Dutchess