Housing Crisis?

Deposits are in. Mixed-sex housing deadlines have passed. Registration is certified. Nervous? Anxious? Find yourself unsure about where you're living next year? If this is you, dear reader (which rumor has it, it is), we've got the answer for you.

Look no further than Facebook's Marketplace. This feature allows other students in your NYU network to post their charming real estate offerings at rather affordable student prices. Why I, just the other day, searching for a cute place close to campus, came across an enticing ad.

$1,800 - AMAZING APT right on NYU CAMPUS!

I shouldn't. I daren't. It's just too good to be true. But, I clicked away.



Hmmmm, thought I, to myself. This place sounds pretty good. No... wait... pretty familiar?

8th and Mercer. Nice location.

Great bedroom (big enough for a queen sized bed, a desk, book-case, shelves, etc.)

Nice room.

About your roomate: Her name is --------, she is a sophomore at the New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts. Very nice, clean, quiet, respectful, fun. Serious student. Very easy to live with. To live here you should be: Clean, respectful, pleasant, calm, positive, with good housing background.

Wow. She sounds awful nice. Reasonable, too.

**If you are someone who is; Wild, Crazy, likes to party a lot, does drugs, smokes or drinks excessively, loves to entertain and have lots of friends over, this is NOT the place for you!

Sounds at lot like some of the people we know.

Wait. This situation sounds hella familiar. No. Could it be? Is this roommate-seeking anti-partying serious student dancer in fact the same crazy Russian who kicked our favorite Free City rebel out of her second attempt at housing after a few shameless nights of harmless partying?

I strongly advise against living here. If you're anything like us, your lifestyle won't be appreciated by your new roommate.

just looking out for you,
supercut cracKhouse

PS- This just in: MISSING! Cartloads of Chanel makeup, maybe fifteen pounds in weight. Value: Priceless.