The Grape Dutchess

Summer Shit Show 08 Here We Come

2008-05-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

The year has come to an end. There were some good times, some bad times, and LOTS of shit shows, but in the end it was all worth it. So goodbye Third North and all. It was fun being the object of all your love/hate.
So have an amazing summer knowing that all your "wtf did I do last night" moments won't end up in the GD...but make sure to save some of that hot mess for next year.

Peace, Love, and lots of Booze,

The Grape Dutchess & Co.

The Goon Squad Gets off Easy

2008-04-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today a Judge decided the fate of Third North's gaggle of goons (along with one Brittany gay) in regards to their fake ID court summons. Each was slapped with a minor fine and learned an important lesson about crime in New York: You can totally get away with this shit!

This crew seems to be into pushing their limits, including heavy drinking on a Sunday. Two ambiguously Asian crew members and a heartbreaking nerd were seen stumbling home from a Soho loft party to their respective dorms at around four Monday morning. Two c-yard staples who remained south of Houston decided to continue their school night shitshow by picking up some boys. Both the MK idolizer and the lesbionic party girl woke up on Monday next to male party-goers. Both were also unsure of the previous nights events, as well as the names of their hook-ups. Way to keep it classy, ladies.

Love You Muchess,
The Grape Dutchess

Happy Birthday Baby

2008-04-01T17:32:00.000-07:00

This past week, two of our very own hottest and hippest Third Northers celebrated their 19th birthdays and in true 3N fashion, partied like rock stars all week long. First came JO, the droopy-eyed lanky-limbed music man from LA, who celebrated his bday last Tuesday with a nice dinner at a hip 2nd avenue Indian restaurant. Among the many friends that attended were JO's current love interest (an unidentified freshwoman) and also his ex-gf from out of town. Apparently, there was a bit of an obvious rift between the two chicas the entire time, creating somewhat of an awkward situation for JO. No shocker here though. This lady-loving scenester must be used to it by now after all his womanizing. In fact, he was recently confronted by yet another girl, a SoTo brunette and female friend of his who proclaimed him as her secret crush. Rumor has it she was crushed when he insisted they stay just friends.

Two days later came the birthday of our fave EaTo diva and blonde banged fashionista. This hot Gall scholar celebrated by boozing and cruising all afternoon (and skipping out on classes) then hitting up the hot drag queen club Lips where she danced the night away. The celebration continued with a day-long party at Central Park on Saturday where several of her close friends gathered for some innocent outdoors partying and, as we've heard, lots of drinking, blazing, pinata-ing, and Red Rover. Happy birthday girl. Sounds like fun.

Speaking of bdays, here's some random celebrity trivia: Which bootyshaking celeb shares her birthday with our very own (aforementioned) Fash Floor blondie? Hint: she's almost as big a dutchess as GD.

Click here to find out.

Hope all your birthday wishes come true,
supercut cracKhouse
Gossip Gay
alice rabbit

THIS JUST IN: Another bday bash this past weekend for a certain SoTo Shy Guy was apparently so hopping it got shut down by a couple of angry RA's. Though their judicial notices have yet to be sent out, our own experiences tell us they'll most likely be sentenced to a few Informative Choices workshops which, although long and boring and a bit uncomfortable, are actually quite Informative. Let's face it. We could all use some help making better Choices.

Missed Connection on the J Train

2008-03-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

Which NYU sophomore stud and infamous ladies' man was recently featured in the missed connections section of our fave NYU networking site, CraigsList?

Check it out below.

Hint: This Cliff Street bachelor had a brief romance with 3N shitshow BB Gun. Though this relationship was short-lived, it was definitely one of great passion (click here, item #7). But it looks like BB's got some competition. According to the craigslist posting, an anonymous girl quite impressed with his brooding good looks and satirical sense of humor became rather smitten with this dark-haired Romeo during an interaction at the Essex Station in Lower Manhattan. She might want to watch out. Rumored kisses between him and Pete Wentz have brought his sexuality into question. Still, we gotta give you credit for being so up front about your feelings, girl. We hope he gets in touch.

This one's for you,
supercut cracKhouse
alice rabbit
daisyandconfused

Out With the Old and IN With the New

2008-03-26T21:15:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to the winner of the last poll, What’s your Third North fantasy?: Orgy in the courtyard! Since it seems you’ve all got sex on the brain, check out the new poll! We hope you think it’s hot. It seems like everyone’s been getting hot and heavy. Is it the nice weather? The alignment of the stars? Or perhaps it’s merely chance?

In the heat of the night, one Jersey JAP Petite-neck, representing (or not) the Fash Floor, took charge of her own sexual destiny for the first time. With the help of a no-name SoTo boy her experience was payneless, but I wouldn’t want to top my sundae with that cherry.

But before every new beginning, something must end... Sadly, we regret to inform you of the tragic loss of the Cove. A raid by the po left this joint cold, even in the rising heat. R.I.P. B.C.

Don’t put another dollar in the jukebox for “Closing Time” yet, though. Watch for other doors opening to good times, particularly back doors. Pete Wentz was recently redeflowered, this time the tables having been turned and the positions, too. Girlyman Po-sweety did the honors here, reminding us that we can all go on getting it on without our fav spot that swarmed with singles.

Bottoms up,
alice rabbit
DAISYandconfused
supercut cracKhouse

Goodness Grapeness

2008-03-25T19:09:00.001-07:00

Tough decision...

Shouldn't those be pointing in the same direction?

Brittany Bombshell

2008-03-25T16:26:00.000-07:00

A certain "A&F NYU Freshman in Brittany" is looking for someone to spend his nights with. This Brittany Bombshell posted an ad on the infamous CraigsList on March 19th stating that he was "looking to get together." And luckily for most of you readers of the GD (the gay ones anyway), he is only interested in NYU guys.

Though we fully support his search for a good time, it MUST be pointed out that Mr. Brittany did not follow most of the internet safety rules taught to us as children. On the ad, this digital dater includes his age, location, AND name. Three big no-no's... So if you run into our Brittany boy, let him know to be more careful about what information he puts online. You never know who might get a hold of it.

P.S. Hot bod, you Brittany babe you.

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

New Couple Alert?

2008-03-16T14:30:00.001-07:00

After weeks of platonic hanging out and casual flirtation, two of our fave Third North residents have finally gotten together. NoTo Cali-born curly-haired smiley face and the one and only asexual diarist were spotted late Thursday night at the Cove macking pretty hard on each other. What started as some innocent drunken dirty dancing quickly turned steamy when the SoTo diarist grabbed the LA hipster and planted a kiss right on her booze coated lips. Their lips didn't part much throughout the rest of the night, except for a few minutes to order burritos at Cosmic Cantina post-Cove. Could it be love for these two 3N blondies? Or could his asexuality prove devastating to their tryst?

Thank godness they have a shared interest in green, if you know what I mean (which I'm pretty sure you do).

all's fair in love and drunken lust,
supercut cracKhouse

Midterm Update

2008-03-14T14:22:00.001-07:00

Pete Wentz look-alike is bisexual and he wants the world to know! In case you somehow forgot about his shocking (and somewhat inconceivable) admission that he digs guys and girls, Pete was seen working his game on a pint-sized Brittany babe this week. According to close sources, Pete was overheard propositioning her, while clearly lurking inside her personal bubble. "If you ever need a boyfriend, I'm here for you" he said, as he led her into increasingly pervy conversation. Unfortunately for our manly, manly, man, this pot-loving pixie already might have a relationship going on--with a girl! Atleast that's the impression we got when Pete asked if she had had sex with her East Tower girl friend (or girlfriend?).

Anyone find a backpack filled with some funky fungi? (No, this backpack did not contain lettuce from the Courtyard Cafe--we mean something more along the lines of a psychedelic treat). Well, some security guards did! Don't worry though, the owner of this backpack, who was none other than the blonde Brittany bro of questionable sexuality, was spared of any official retribution (wish we could have said the same about the recently evicted 3N candy king). The contents of the backpack, however, were not saved. If you're dying for some of that psilocybin due to the shortage of psychedelics around here, you can try searching through the trash--maybe the hot janitor (HOOK ME UPPPP) will help you!

Enjoy your spring break, and for those of you still on campus, give us the goss! thegrapedutchess@gmail.com

Love You Muchess,
The Grape Dutchess

My Fourplay Fantasy

2008-03-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

On Sunday afternoon Pete Wentz made dreams come true with his acting debut in a small off-broadway production entitled Fourplay in the Grand Kimmel Theatre. The play itself was a charming and playful tale. However things quickly turned steamy and seductive from all the chemistry between Wentz and his blonde starlet co-star (no, not you NV). It was so HOTT it was hard to sit still. And it seems his on-stage girlfriend is in fact also his off-stage love interest. Looks like he's doing a good job of embracing his new found multi-sexuality. Bravo.

Encore.

Yours Truly.

My So-Called Life

2008-03-10T10:47:00.000-07:00

There's been some buzz about us lately, and frankly, we're flattered. Unfortunately, today, nothing we can write will top the news of NY Governor Eliot Spitzer's involvement in a prostitution ring scandal. Sorry, but to hold you over until something as juicy as this comes along, we've got a few blind items to share.

HOOKED Friday night: Party animal turned smitten kitten? Seen canoodling in the courtyard our fave blonde banged bombshell and an unknown asian sensation. Looks like love... could her party days be over? Another blonde getting her mack on this weekend: our fave West Coast hipster hottie. This smokin' diva was seen following a certain brunette charmer into his NoTo residence this past weekend. Seems Harry's not the only Potter who can cast a love spell. We're jeal, girl. Guess blondes really do have more fun.

SHELLSHOCKED Friday night: Around 5 am, in the dark trenches of the shadowed hallways of the South Tower, two bruised bedheaded star-crossed lovers stood shaken and uncomfortable after what looked like a rough, rough fight... I mean, night. This pair of perfect-for-each-other chilled out kids (he's into music, she's into dance) is rarely seen out and about after bedtime, but this past weekend brought these cuties out of bed and into the light of the elevator bay. Reason for disagreement: unknown. Fortunately, since then they've kissed and made up. Don't scare us like that again.

SPOTTED Saturday: A few Courtyard Crew gals hanging in the courtyard, dressed head to toe in nineties grunge gear. We're talking angst: flannel button downs, heavy Docs, mismatch prints, leopard jackets, and of course sweatshirts tied around the waist. Rumor has it they were dressed for a nineties power hour party in the SoTo. We could hear those vintage jams from miles away.

WASTED Saturday night: LA DJ diva and hilarious hipster C-Weezy boozing and cruising at local hangout Cosmic Cantina. Though these pretty ladies seemed plenty intoxicated, they were seen post-burrito sipping gin and juices, dancing at the Cove. Also seen at the Cantina, our fave Free City party girl, jumbo margarita in hand. Our advice: take it slow girl- when the drink is bigger than you are, you know you're handing out free tickets to a shitshow.

CRAZY always: Lately it seems like someone has taken the place of our fave skinny kixin' resident crazyhead (who has recently gone green, to our delight). And it's a she! This hot artsy chica has taken up where Bini-Kix left off: crazying in the courtyard, relaxing in the dining hall, always with tight skinny jeans and baller sunglasses at night. Are we seeing double? At least two crazies are better than one...

ah, we were merely freshmen,
supercut cracKhouse
DAISYandconfused <3

PS- Farewell to our peace-loving happy hippie friend. After saying some tearful goodbyes at the 3N dining hall Thursday night, this tiedyed nice guy packed his bags and left Third North to go back home out West. We miss you already.

Where is the Peace and Love?

2008-03-04T19:03:00.001-08:00

THIS JUST IN: Our resident self-proclaimed hippie-raver is moving out of Third North to take up a new residency in UHall. He was seen rolling a cartfull of his belongings (probably multi-colored dyes and beads) out the 11th street entrance.
It is clear that the hippie's departure is one dealing with his business of selling certain products (and no not the tie-dye shirts). Though he has not been dismissed from NYU, he has been talking about leaving. However, if he does withdraw from the school, he does plan on staying in the city.

So if you were lucky enough to get his number, don't worry. He'll still be in town for you to buy..."t-shirts" from.

In rememberance of our beloved hippie raver, peace and love to all.

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

Watch Yourself Kids, You Might Get Hurt

2008-03-02T18:03:00.000-08:00

Apparently Alphabet City isn't the only place to avoid at night, as earlier this week a fight broke out between two Third North residents right in this very building. The 7th floor of the South Tower is known for it's ever present smell of green and lack of drama, however on this night something was different. A certain double-x, a-hole, Gallatin work-a-holic and our new Hayden reject exchanged blows after certain words were exchanged--xx swung first, a (ron) fought back. What exactly was said is unsure, but we think it might have something to do with a certain Santa Barbara lady friend who's been spotted frequently in the courtyard canoodling with the new guy. Both boys seem to be recovering fast, but not without a little punishment to worsen the blow as their RA known for stock[ing] well came questioning as soon as he got word of the story. And apparently this isn't the first spat xx has gotten into-passive aggressiveness his weapon of choice. Let's all hope he doesn't read this.

Also seen injured around the dorm is a certain Fash Fl. diva and another stick thin skater hobbling about on wooden canes, both with injuries to the knee. Rough foreplay, new fashion trend, or freak accident...take your pick. And yet another injured third norther can be spotted walking on crutches after being hit by a taxi, yet we're amazed that she still manages to ski with her not old school bf from LA.

So kiddies, be careful out there and try not to trip on your new lace up boots.

Here's to March,
Dat Smoker Bitch

E! True Hollywood Story: My 15 Minutes of Fame

2008-02-29T11:17:00.000-08:00

After the snoozefest that was this year's star-less Oscar ceremony, we had a hankering for some juicy celeb goss. Lucky for us, we had to look no further than our very own NYU family. At a nearby off-campus party populated by numerous divas, the biggest diva of all turned out to be the former child star who has in the past been rumored to have seen "dead people." Apparently this ex-Oscar nominee lost all six of his senses when his ex-girlfriend showed up to the party uninvited. They launched into a heated argument which culminated in an explosive rant from our fave teen star, during which he was overheard screaming multiple obscenities including "Fuck You Cunt!" and "I will cut you up into little pieces." Was this just the booze talking? Or could this be another E! True Hollywood Story waiting to happen? At least if the doomed ex-girlfriend does end up kicking the bucket, he will still be able to communicate with her. What a crazy (M) night (Shyamalan).

In other celeb news, a certain SoTo hottie was seen basking in the sun of the spotlight this past weekend like a true famed diva. Our fave tall sleek-haired LA fashion-loving sweetheart was spotted at the hip Lower East Side club, The Annex, spinning tracks and dancing fly behind the DJ booth last Thursday night. Though she says she's no expert in the area of DJing, she sure made us jeal with her hot mixing skills. We also hear she's recently joined the ranks of the hottest hipster fashionistas in New York with a sweet new internship at Nylon Magazine. Way to go girl. Looks like you're on your way to stardom.

As for the rest of you commoners, don't fret. Your 15 minutes of fame are most likely just around the corner.

You Know You Love Me,
Gossip Gay
supercut cracKhouse
The Grape Dutchess

From Quarks to Cosmos (and All the Crazies In Between)

2008-02-23T14:59:00.000-08:00

Have you been feeling like one of your friends around 3N has been acting a little bit strange? Two NYU studs have revealed new sides to their ever-evolving sexual identities. It has been confirmed by the celeb look-alike himself, that Pete Wentz has developed a taste for women. Fourteen year old fans rejoice! In more plausible news, a Brittany Blondie has allegedly switched from straight to bi. Every gay boy in 3N rejoice! Don't get us wrong, we think he's pretty rad, but we thought he was a little limp wristed for a bro...

Perhaps these changes have something to do with the alignment of the heavenly bodies. Did you catch that lunar eclipse in the c-yard? The ten percent of the sky visible through our beloved towers provided a great view of the crimson glow. The night provided another view of sorts, that of those 3N residents who are dedicated to their courtyard experience. Not everyone came out to view the eclipse, however. The GD is sad to report the following courtyard crazies to be M.I.A.:
-3N's Skankiest Perrson
-Nocturnal EaTo Drug Fairy
-Broken Hearted Mark Ruffalo Look-Alike
-Ladies Fav Film Stud
-Pint-Sized Tatted Hustler
-West Coast Pixie Cut Peace Lover

As for those courtyard crazies we half-expected to disappear, you guys are troopers for sticking around through the tough times:
-Binikix (now more Indian than ever)
-Misguided Roommate-Conflicting Chonga (still addicted).

Smoke yourself silly head,
The Grape Dutchess
Alice Rabbit
DAISYandconfused
Gossip Gay

Housing Crisis?

2008-02-17T08:48:00.001-08:00

Deposits are in. Mixed-sex housing deadlines have passed. Registration is certified. Nervous? Anxious? Find yourself unsure about where you're living next year? If this is you, dear reader (which rumor has it, it is), we've got the answer for you.

Look no further than Facebook's Marketplace. This feature allows other students in your NYU network to post their charming real estate offerings at rather affordable student prices. Why I, just the other day, searching for a cute place close to campus, came across an enticing ad.

$1,800 - AMAZING APT right on NYU CAMPUS!

I shouldn't. I daren't. It's just too good to be true. But, I clicked away.

Hmmmm, thought I, to myself. This place sounds pretty good. No... wait... pretty familiar?

8th and Mercer. Nice location.

Great bedroom (big enough for a queen sized bed, a desk, book-case, shelves, etc.)

Nice room.

About your roomate: Her name is --------, she is a sophomore at the New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts. Very nice, clean, quiet, respectful, fun. Serious student. Very easy to live with. To live here you should be: Clean, respectful, pleasant, calm, positive, with good housing background.

Wow. She sounds awful nice. Reasonable, too.

**If you are someone who is; Wild, Crazy, likes to party a lot, does drugs, smokes or drinks excessively, loves to entertain and have lots of friends over, this is NOT the place for you!

Sounds at lot like some of the people we know.

Wait. This situation sounds hella familiar. No. Could it be? Is this roommate-seeking anti-partying serious student dancer in fact the same crazy Russian who kicked our favorite Free City rebel out of her second attempt at housing after a few shameless nights of harmless partying?

I strongly advise against living here. If you're anything like us, your lifestyle won't be appreciated by your new roommate.

just looking out for you,
supercut cracKhouse

PS- This just in: MISSING! Cartloads of Chanel makeup, maybe fifteen pounds in weight. Value: Priceless.

Spread the LoVE

2008-02-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

goood morning sunshine, how've you been? seen anything interesting lately? heard anything juicy?
Tell us your tattleTales
and whiSper your Secrets
let us know who's been sinning lately, wherever they may be
cause we're going GLOBAL
grapedutchess@gmail.com

Send It In......neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of Night....

supercut cracKhouse
DAISYandconfused<3

P.S. i hear global is the way to go, the chicest thing since LA Fashion Week...it seems our StarMag was correct, and after tons of Papirazzi, firestorms, and stints in the crazyHouse the Olsen Twins are fleeing to Paris. Au RevOir.

Quit Playing Games With My Heart

2008-02-10T12:22:00.000-08:00

Behind the Music: The Artist Formerly Known as Nichze

Blond hair. Blue eyes. Dashing cool smile. These are the qualities that made the Artist Formerly Known as Nichze turn from local star to worldwide teen sensation over one winter break. This veritable Prince Charming (who has been mistaken for Jude Law) had over the past fall been witnessed dallying with many different 3N divos including our beloved Pete Wentz, infamous NoTo pretty boy, and even one divA: infamous partyer BB Gun. A real catch- blonde, charming, romantic- Nichze attracted many who thought him perfect potential boyfriend material. But then the winter came and with it brought an international vacation for Nichze where a kind and loving suitor turned him from sweet gentlemanly romantic intellectual to heartthrobin' heartbreakin' Samantha Jonesin' no settlin' down teen idol bachelor with buckets of confidence. A divo, in short.

Once returned to the USA, Nichze, in his newfound heartbreaker queenness, began trouncing socially from man to man, with no end in sight. He severed ties with his winter break Maharaja romancer and in spite of all the romantic pleas and gestures, has no plans to settle down any time soon. He has been seen gallavanting around town with many hot bachelors: hot n' spicy Wagner Pretty Boy; lean and lanky SoTo poet (btw... happy bday); even the betrothed Pete Wentz lookalike (though sources say they're just friends).

Will any of these boys be able to stop the unstoppable Artist Formely Known As Nichze? Or will his carefree heartbreaking ways seal his status as a bachelor forever?

love's a tricky business,
supercut cracKhouse

PS- Breaking News! Looks like Nichze's party ways finally got the better of him. At an NJ college visit late last night, sources say our Prince Charming drank himself into a blackout haze, disappeared from sight for an unspecified amount of time, then showed up passed out in the hallway in just his boxer briefs. Cute Calvin's Nichze, Maybe if you could settle down a bit, you'd do a better job of keeping your pants on.

Speakeasy: The Musical

2008-02-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

Extra! Extra! READ ALLL ABOUT IT!!!

The gang arrived at their usual juice joint around 11 pm, looking for a night full of booze, brawls and bitches. They walked in to find the lady of the night...out of commission?? The password for entry was said to be "Happy Birthday", but for some of us it seems it didn't turn out so happy. After stumbling onto the street, unable to speak coherently, she was whisked away by the big guy himself towards an evening full of forced sobriety. Sorry, girl...hopefully your actual birthday will be the cat's meow, but you certainly gave us all the heebie-jeebies.

Also, a certain Aphrodite look alike was missing....again????? She met up with the gang after her Italian Stallion was finally "swiped out". As always, the date was sealed with a kiss. We hope his trip home didn't end in a DUI for driving under the influence...no, not in a car. You may have spotted him on his bicycle peddling across the Brooklyn Bridge.

Spotted at this same speakeasy was the Indian prince himself. One might say he was the bee's knees based on all the broads he was scoring. Many were anonymous (even to him), but there may be a keeper in this bunch. Aphrodite was on a roll after the Italian Stallion left, and couldn't help but take advantage of the spaced out skiier. They were spotted canoodling against walls the entire way home....guess they had a bit too much of the Cove's signature moonshine. The otherwise unresponsive Fall Out Boy star was revived only by sexual requests via Mount Olympus, which were happily carried out.

A blunt also made an appearance at the Cove...this was deeply appreciated by the green-loving Greek Goddess who quickly indulged. How appropriate.

In keeping with the night's Gatsby theme, Mrs. Buchanan herself was present, flanked by her tap-dancing beau. The happy couple couldn't be separated, even by one very determined fella. After the gangster tried to cop a feel, a gun was allegedly pulled followed by a forceful "Beat it!" from the Vaudeville-loving Tischie. The Thoroughly Modern Millies quickly lept into a speeding cab and returned to the safe haven of 3N.

We're gonna go cut a rug, talk to you cool cats later.

Cinderella of the North
MrsTambourineManQoGPaL

You Got Swiped.

2008-02-09T14:36:00.001-08:00

New York, New York: a city of passion, crimes, and misdemeanors. At least for some of our very favorite 3N partygoers. This weekend got off to a particularly rocky start for six infamous 3Ners: SoTo blunt-rolling, scarf-wearing Rapunzel, pale-faced wino JAP from Dirty Jers, Pete Shitshow Wentz (in his hot espresso trench), Brittany's resident homo divo, SoTo celebutante-lookalike, and Northern Chestnut-Haired Princess. The six were spotted outside of the hot 21st Street club Porky's near midnight surrounded by four burly New York Policemen, 1 giant angry black bouncer, and a few of the club managers. From a distance, it was hard to discern exactly what was going on, but sources close to these outlaws gave us an inside scoop. It seems these danger-loving crazies attempted to enter, at approximately 11:30, the aforementioned nightclub Porky's. It seems the underage 3Ners, when asked to present proper identification, handed over false identifications-- and not even good ones. (It is later revealed that not all six of them presented their licenses. Last in Line Canadian Princess managed to sneak out in back. She has denied any involvement with the situation.) In response to this blatant law-breaking act, the angry bouncer pulled the group, now five, out on to the street where he pulled out a cellphone and dialed 9-1-1.

A blaring police car then screeched to the curb and encircling the kids, demanded proper identification. Slowly, and ashamed, they handed over their underage licences. After about a 20-minute wait in the cold evening air, the five were given back their cards along with an NYPD Summons for a court date in the spring. (Rumor has it, Northern Diva is suspected by her friends to have given sexual favors to the policemen in exchange for citizenship. She has once again denied any involvement.)

Later on in the night, in a bold attempt to drown themselves in their newfound miseries, the group gathered at their fave trendy dive bar for some harmless partying. Unfortunately for one of them, their night of run-ins with the law had not ended. Celebutante-Lookalike, in the style of Paris Hilton, had her cellphone (and wallet) swiped by an unknown thief. And to add to the tragedy, her important Summons was inside the wallet, which further complicated her sadness. There are no leads on the case, and the chances of return are very slim.

Well kids, you got swiped. Hard. First your ID's, then your personal belongings. Looks like you maybe you should work more on being reasonable and less on being shitshows.

Good Luck,
supercut crackhouse
MrsTambourineManQoGPaL

PS- Spotted: Italian Stallion leaving the East Tower residence of green-loving Greek diva Friday night looking... satisfied. Could it be that something (or someone) else was swiped that adventure-filled night? Or could an age gap lead to goodnights for this Tony and his Maria?

Who Remembers Junior High?

2008-02-06T19:56:00.000-08:00

britney was hot. now 7 had just come out. everyday after school i ran home from the bus stop to watch trl/chat on aim. my mind was filled with utterly meaningless information and all i knew how to do was obsess. ill be honest, when there was nothing left to say about ourselves, my friends and i stooped to a regrettable low of talking the shittiest shit about people. that was fun. not. dont get me wrong, though, i had a good time. its just... that was over four years ago.

RUTHLESS COMMENTERS BEWARE!

the point of grape dutchess is not to create conflict within our beloved third north. we talk in such ways that are not supposed to be taken seriously. rather, we write what amuses us. if it does not amuse you, then stop fucking reading this shit. give it up. this isn't junior high anymore.

im late,
alice rabbit

p.s. bar/bat mitzvahs were the shit. best part about jr. high, undoubtedly.

3N Star Couple on Perez

2008-02-05T17:56:00.000-08:00

Pete Wentz and his new boyf are so scandalous that even Perez Hilton wants a piece of the dish. Way to go Pete.

Happy Mardi Gras,
supercut cracKhouse

Take Me to the Cove

2008-02-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

The lack of posting lately may indicate that we have been running low on goss. Not so! Here's a few recent and juicy events..the GD has just been too busy indulging in the lusts of glamour at the Cove to find their way onto blogger!

1.Greek Goddess snags Italian Stallion: The self proclaimed "Queen of Green" was seen signing out a mystery visitor and sealing the date with a kiss.

2. After getting kicked out of housing, it seems our favorite free city free spirited ex-3N skiier has seen some light in the future. It seems the hot new residence and a cold new roommate have encouraged her to seek comfort in a series of unidentified boytoys:
a) A half asian key-bump afficianado
b) An American Apparel deep-V wearing ex-model
c) A South African Irish pub frequenter at least 20 years her senior

3, Rumored union between LA waif/fashionista and one fair-haired green-loving shy guy from the school of Non-Old. Though rumors remain unconfirmed, the two have been spotted all over the East Village and sources say the young gentleman has spent more than a few nights lodging in Third North.

4. For a time now, NoTo French lumberjack has been spending his nights with a fiery chic LA chick. According to a source, Lumberjack's roommate - Ex-Dreadlocked Garcon - has complained about having to hear the whisper of love from the West Coast couple in the middle of the night. Ear-plugs anyone?

5. Puppy for Sale!....Well maybe only in our dreams, but if you're looking for a fun time go to craigslist. We've only got positive feedback about this infamous match-making site from our fave latenight c-yard loving divas, and they've got a pet of their own. That's right, a sex slave. I know I want one.
Helpful Hint: Guys will submit to one-way video chats if you send pics...especially if they're of your hottie friends....See you soon, on the web;)

6. Brittany's resident JAP (and apparently ProjRunway's favorite designer) has been recently linked to a certain curly-haired divo from a nearby 3rd Avenue dorm, just a few blocks away. Though it seems these two got off to a rocky start, they have, in the recent present, been thrown together with passion. Rumor has it, after a crazy night in lower Manhattan playing beer games to hits from the nineties, the sophomore phenomenon and this Boston-born prep-school queen found themselves embracing in the heat of the night. Will things last for these two budding lovahs? Or will these homos be no mo?

7. Mile high club, anyone? SoTo's MK-idolizing, blunt-rolling diva killed her time on the 20-hour trans-atlantic flight in the company of a dark-haired sophmore with an impressive taste in 90's jams. Though this Cliff Street bachelor is rumored to have another Gal on his radar, we have faith that our very own 3N Indian princess will kindle his heart in the end...

8. Last but not least, seen recently together is our favorite new couple: the lovely Pete Wentz lookalike and his Zefron-esque Fairymount companion. The two have been spotted numerous times entering and exiting the Union Square subway station, always starry-eyed and loving. Inside sources say the pair spends most of their time chatting on the phone during deep late-night convos, debating spicily about politics and the future, and canoodling privately in Mr. Wentz's North Tower residence. Will this union last? Or will Pete's new Ledger-esque addictions prove fatal for this relationship?

Sitting in the den (the crack den that is),

supercut cracKhouse
Daisyandconfused
DSL
Cinderella of the North
The Grape Dutchess

What's Golding On?!!!

2008-01-30T12:07:00.000-08:00

Helllloooo lovahhhhs...I hope you all are doing well, sitting tight in your seats as the mass confusion and combat ensues on our comment board and I hate to be in such a mood, but I know we are all thinking the same thing: What the hell is golding on? It seems as though we have an admirer on our hands, doing some of the dirty work for us. So I guess bravo, Courtyard Connoisseur! You're witty and inspired info have caught my eye. But why so scared CC? Tell me your secrets, tell me your name...but make love not war. Until next time my dear...and who knows maybe I'll embrace the friend.

<3 Daisyandconfused

ride on the peace train, come on now the peace train

NYU Student Suspected in Celeb's Mysterious Death

2008-01-22T16:46:00.000-08:00

At 3:30 PM today, movie star and gay icon, Heath Ledger, was found dead in his Soho aparment. According to reports, he was surrounded by various bottles and pills, including some prescription malaria meds. with the name "Blatt, Rebecca" across the front. This NYU frosh and well-documented shit show has been M.I.A. since the incident, leading many to believe foul play was involved. Could this Long Island vixen be responsible for Heath's death? We'll update you as the situation develops.

xoxo
Gossip Gay

3N Resident Gains Hipster Fame

2007-12-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

Well, it's good to see that some NYU students are accomplishing something over break...

While, I sit on my computer making a new post to boost my internet fame, a certain 3N cutie got her picture on The Cobra Snake! This resident is always lookin' adorable and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm totally jealz of her cuteness!

http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/helloecho/IMG_7735.html

Perfect as usual, girl...

Asians in the Cyard & Pete Wentz is Straight?!

2007-12-24T00:24:00.000-08:00

The courtyard is awfully quiet these days, given the lack of drunk baffoons filtering in at all hours of the night. Currently, our beloved common place has become a gathering location for groups of asians. Similar to the happenings over Thanksgiving break, the nights seem to bring out herds of our eastern brothers and sisters. What they are discussing has yet to be determined.

In other news, our beloved Pete Wentz has blown our minds (but surprisingly not our penises) once again! Video footage of this pop star shows him in the act of making love to - believe it or not - a woman! As seen on the video, the boy likes it rough. Is this all a clever ploy or has our NoTo resident finally chosen the straighter path? Decide for yourself.

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

PS. For Christmas (or Hanukkah or whatever you all feel like celebrating), I'm asking Santa to send everyone a great big sense of humor.

We Get It, You're "Cool"...Now Can You Please Shut Up

2007-12-22T13:34:00.000-08:00

After leaving the Third North dormitory to return home for winter break, something seemed to missing from my life. Besides having no classes, my daily routine was the same- and then I realized what was missing was the gaggle of loud-mouthed students who paraded around the dorm flaunting their affinity for wine and nose candy. The "courtyard crew", as they have so aptly named themselves, can be seen any time any day and it is a guarantee that they are in an altered state of mind. That's all fine, hey it's college and people are going to party. But Jesus I'm sick of hearing those loud-mouthed bitches talk about how much drugs they use. Some quotes I've collected over the weeks include:

"I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamor."

"Ugh, I love a post-line cigarette."

"We're such coke heads...omg I love it."

I'm not asking for these people to stop whatever it is they're doing, I just don't want to hear about it anymore. No one thinks you're cool because you do drugs and party every night of the week-so stop trying so hard it's really unbecoming.

Merry mutha-fucking Christmas,
Dat Smoker Bitch

and p.s. big ups to my home girl J-L Spears, she know where it's at. And don't worry if her baby loses it's pacifier it's okay she got 3 more, and her baby is going to dress in designer clothes, and she can't afford them it's okay she'll just stel em.

Diarist Confirms Sexuality

2007-12-20T11:09:00.000-08:00

Our lovable suspected asexual diarist may not be so asexual after all... It has been reported that this diarist recently hooked up with a certain Texan Cowgirl. Over the previous weekend, this droopy-eyed writer spent an entire night with the Cowgirl - a night filled with stolen glances, hinting nudges, and the sweet smell of Mary Jane in the air. The night came to a climax when our lethargic hero took a chance and made his move. According to our source, bodies were pushed against the wall, lips touched, limbs entertwined, he was masculine, she was fourceful, and sparks flew. It is questionable whether or not he fell asleep for a period of time during the hook-up (which would not come as a suprise), but we do know that he celebrated his achievement with a nice long sleep. I do hope the Cowgirl enjoyed her ride.

So goodbye "suspected asexual diarist" and hello "very heterosexual man of the hour."

...However, we do have some evidence to show that he may be able to reproduce by splitting.

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

Dear Haterz

2007-12-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

We began this column with the intention of having fun. That is all. Anyone who does not realize that some (aka all) of these stories are exaggerated, falsified, etc. should note that we have no intention to present ourselves as a legitimate news source. Stories involving rule breaking (especially those involving student/staff relationships) are very unfortunately untrue. (As if that girl could ever snag hot janitors numbers 1-3). This blog does also not exist to slander, defame, etc. any individuals mentioned within the posts. It is purely for entertainment purposes--we're not CNN for Christ's sake! Think of us more as Fox News...

XOXO,
The Onion of Third North a.k.a. Grape Dutchess & Co.

P.S. Stories about Zac Efron are true, as you probably know. Vanessa Hudgens, please stop sending us hate mail because we're doing this for your own good, girl.
P.P.S. Jamie Lynn, though you are a whore, you are still doing a lot better than Brit Brit. Keep up the good work.

Aspire To Grapeness

2007-12-19T18:06:00.000-08:00

Happy fucking Holidays everyone...try not to get into too much trouble over the break.

(though, let's be honest, it's more fun for everyone when you do)
xoxo Cinderella of the North

Tis the Season to Lose Your Virginity?

2007-12-18T16:15:00.001-08:00

December, known for its abundance of holiday cheer, may have a new reputation with the large amount of V-Card swipings that occurred this month. Two 3N residents may have earned themselves spots on the naughty list with their shocking losses of innocence. Grape Dutchess favorite, the Pete Wentz look-alike, and a previously prim and proper young lady, were swiped by another 3N resident and a deathly thin NYU sophomore, respectively. These recent events suggest that the respectable young lady might not be the lady we thought she was, while that Pete Wentz look-alike is, in fact, the homo that we thought he was!

Ho Ho Ho!

XOXO,
The Grape Dutchess

THIS JUST IN:
A certain fair lady from the West Coast was also recently swiped by a special man from back home.

December, you whore of a month!

Who’s Frontin’ Now?

2007-12-13T18:14:00.000-08:00

A certain Third North character known for his skinny jeans, purple beanie, and sunglasses at all hours, has been going through some major changes in his life. What’s the deal with the transformations that has been occurring? Are there deeper problems at hand or is this all maybe just a character made up for our entertainment? Let’s take a look shall we?

Today: This filmmaker has been reported for not having slept for days straight, recently. He can be seen clad in long johns, “gold” chains, and a parka. No pants. No shirt. His signature beanie and glasses are MIA. Along with the lack of sleep, he has apparently limited his showers to once in a blue moon. Perhaps he has gone green and is looking to conserve water. Nevertheless, it has been rumored that his roommate has complained about the odor he now carries with him and has resulted to spraying the room with Febreeze whenever he gets the opportunity. Could this all be the effects of over-work and stress? Or is this simply what happens when one skis too frequently? Bini Sen, we aren’t in the Alps.

A month ago: Everyone grew to love (or at least tolerate) the eccentric hip-hop genius. He was easily recognized by his unique choice of clothing. As the school year started, he began with fitted caps. He later moved on to his infamous purple ski-cap and glasses. He loved matching colorful prints and oversized jackets with his skin-tight jeans, cuffed up to show off his awesome kicks. Yes, he was crazy. Yes, he was the embodiment of a gangsta rainbow. But he looked healthier then. Dare I say happier?

Pre-NYU: This fashionisto is not to be taken for granted. The Bini Sen of these days was one who sported an emo-cut, tight hoodies, studded belts, and not-so-tight jeans. In fact, he was a big fan of the “MySpace photo.” The photo shown was taken just over a year ago. Not only was his look different but so were his tastes. He did not emphasize his gangsta roots then. According to his 1up.com profile, he lists Badly Drawn Boy, Radiohead, White Stripes, and Queen under his favorite music, among others. Now, I’m not chastising him for being eclectic. It’s quite admirable actually. However, it wasn’t only his taste in music that was different, but also his beliefs. Facebook comments left earlier this year hint that he might not have been a very tolerant person. We have all heard his catch-phrase: “No homo.” Could this possibly be remnants of the days when he disapproved of homosexuals?

Whatever the case, we have a different person living with us today. Perhaps he has become more tolerant. Perhaps he has embraced his gangsta heritage. Perhaps he has a fear of sleep. Or perhaps this is all a front. Who is the real Bini Sen? I cannot say whether he is “for real” or just putting on a show. But personally, I don’t think there’s any coincidence that his initials are BS.

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

Courtyard Howls and Party Fouls

2007-12-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

As people may have noticed, the 11th Street entrance to our beloved dorm is now decorated with the likes of streamers and purple Aztec-like parrots. Just in case you aren't in the loop with the happenings of 3N, this is all because of the recent FYRE Olympics. On Saturday afternoon - far too early for anyone to be alive - a group of fanatic students were seen congregated in the courtyard. Wearing very war-enthused ensembles and branded with purple parrot tees, you might guess that they were about to kick some ass... if it weren't for the fact that most of these kids looked like the least likely bunch to do so. Heading the team was bespectacled NoTo resident EP (who is usually seen hanging posters that no one reads) and the curly-haired SoTo Southerner KG (usually seen lounging in the CoHo with RAs). As many spectators looked on at the crowd of crazies – meant completely as a term of endearment - doubt loomed in our heads that we'd win the FYRE Olympics… but then we realized we didn't really care.

HOWEVER, we did in fact beat out all the other freshman dorms on Saturday, once again bringing the trophy to sit in the lobby of 3N gathering dust until this process repeats itself next year. Bravo, team.

Following the win, 3N hosted a dance party in the bunker we refer to as C3. I myself was not able to attend this festive gathering, but from what I have heard, not many people did either. In fact, I don’t think many people even knew about (or cared about) the gathering occurring right under their feet. Apparently the partiers consisted of only a handful of randoms. However, I did hear that the DJ and his mixes were quite good. It’s so unfortunate that a party went to waste. Suggestion: Next time get the word out. Maybe I’ll promote these things on this blog next time - since it seems like a greater amount of people read this than the number of those who were actually present at the event.

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

Bar Harbor Invades Manhattan

2007-12-10T10:24:00.000-08:00

If you were wondering why Third North’s courtyard seemed a little quieter than usual this past Saturday night, look no farther. We here at the Grape Dutchess have heard a rumor that eight of your favorite loud-mouthed East Village residents finally ventured away from those purple tables to go wreak havoc around Manhattan. They were spotted taking over a miniscule Irish dive bar at 14th St. and Avenue A in the late evening, eliciting more than a few glances from the long-haired, flannel wearing regulars. As the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasted from the jukebox, the Maine natives hovered, Marlboros in hand, around the table at the back. For hours they danced, drank, and tried vainly to sing out of throats black from smoke. The two black-clad brunettes were seen further up the bar, flirting with a certain Uncle Arny, at least 40 years their senior, and Mr. Clinton, a slightly psychotic 30-something with an apparent penchant for the girls buying round after round of Smirnoff shots. With the amount of tequila downed by the are-they-or-aren’t-they couple from the Orient (thanks to the Solo-cup sized shots poured by the bartender, who obviously knew these kids far too well), you might have guessed they were in the tropics, but alas the snowy weather indicated otherwise.

After more than a few drunken phone calls, attempted hookups, and free drinks, the group of supposed AA candidates headed home to disturb their respective roommates and prepare for a long Sunday of recovery.

Infinite X's and O's,
Cinderella of the North

No Homo, No ID

2007-12-09T19:45:00.000-08:00

A little over a week ago, a new swipe-in swipe-out system was installed in every dorm (including Third Avenue North) at New York University and the effects of this ultra-tight security system have proved devastating for those with no ID. Spotted conversing softly with guards last Tuesday: loudly dressed and infamous Third-Norther Bini-Kix Sen. This renowned writer, freestyler, and fashion icon known most for his color-matching skills apparently was without ID and so was forced to explain to the security desk why he could not swipe in or swipe out. Reason for NO-ID: unknown. Punishment: could've been bad. But thanks to a close and personal relationship with certain Russian guards, Bini-Kix was able to walk free.
Mr. Sen is not the only one having trouble with this new swipe system. Long-haired MK idolizer, BB Gun was seen trying to sneak out of the 12th street entrance without her ID card. This blunt-rolling, hippie-loving diva, knowing for wearing head-to-toe American Apparel and see-through tights with no pants, was spotted being chastised by angry guards a week ago for not having her ID. Though she has since relocated it, BB was apparently humiliated by this scene at the 12th street entrance and now vows to never be without her ID card.

Coincidentally, losing their IDs is not the only thing these two infamous 3rdNorthers have in common. Rumor has it, they also spent an entire night together a few weeks ago, hanging out all over Third North. Sources say the two were spotted canoodling in front of the East Tower, splitting a cig on a courtyard bench, and eventually entering the SoTo elevators (where BB lives). While the accuracy of these allegations is still being checked, several eyewitnesses have already testified that these two crazies have indeed spent quite a lot of time together over the past month. Could it be love? Is it just friendship? Or could it be merely a shared love of skiing... ahem. Don't worry. Looking into it. Haaard.

Love always,
supercut cracKhouse

three cokeheads, two packs of cigarettes, one courtyard

2007-12-09T19:31:00.000-08:00

Earlier this evening our sources spotted three of NYU's most noted smokers chatting in the courtyard of the third north residence. An eclectic group this trio was: one toothpick, sneaker-loving, perpetually wearing sunglasses film student, one Free City adorned, skinny ass Stern bitch, and one blonde, banged, boot obsessed Gallatin whore. One might ask what these people might possibly be talking about on a Sunday night, and, we can certainly tell you they're not discussing current events. It appears that these chimneys all participate in an...extra-curricular activity that involves a heavy nose and cardiac excercise. I guess it explains why their hands shake as they reach for the next Marlboro, or why they can't stand still for one second, or why they have a constant sniffle, and even why they have gotten a collective 14 hours of sleep since the start of the semester. The addicts are also rumored to have gone to a romantic dinner at an Indian restaurant earlier this week-menage a trois anyone? Our investigators were able to track down the bill from that night and as expected they shared three beers, a bottle of champagne, and a side salad. Their waitor divulged that they left numerous times for cigarettes and only ate one tomato. Looks like our previous Rubin Hall ski enthusiast isn't the only one at NYU having a white Christmas.

We'll keep you updated on the groups next (frantic) moves, as we have a feeling the story is only going to get better. And we here at the Grape Dutchess are taking it upon ourselves to take CPR classes so that when one of them collapses from a heart attack we can save them.

Peace, love, and all things purple,
Dat Smoker Bitch

Skier Spotting

2007-12-06T14:10:00.000-08:00

That very special winter sports enthusiast was spotted leaving 3N this evening. Did someone at third north answer his craigslist ad? Did someone actually answer his ad??

Bitches and Birthday Bash Blunts

2007-12-05T20:52:00.000-08:00

SPOTTED:

earlier tonight, a certain mark-ruffalo-look-alike was seen being pulled across the courtyard from the north tower where he resides to some unknown location in the east tower. two girls led the way, shouting out navigational commands: tall blonde had his left arm, shorter, rounder brunette had his right. he was wearing merely a sweater with undershirt and looked like he had slipped on a pair of slip-ons, without even the time to put on a pair of socks. there was a fake burberry scarf, which looked like it was made out of felt, wrapped around his head to prevent this mark-ruffalo-look-alike from determining his final destination, which was clearly supposed to remain mysterious to the rumored birthday boy.

the three were spotted later smoking a usual cigarette in the courtyard. if the cause of all these shananigans was the celebration of mark-ruffalo-look-alike's nineteenth birthday, well, you can now legally drink in parts of canadia, mark ruffalo. we shall now refer to the look-alike as "mark ruffalo".

happy birthday dear mark ruffalo

these bitches is crazy.

<3 alice rabbit

P.S.

mark ruffalo is famed for his role in "thirteen going on thirty" as jennifer garner's character's best friend/lover. he should have gotten an award for his performance in that ever-so-moving flick.

New Vocab

2007-12-04T20:21:00.000-08:00

Get your pencils ready kids, it's time for a vocabulary lesson. The word of the week (wotw) is ZEFERENCE, meaning any direct or indirect reference to sex god and recently outed homosexual Zac Efron. For example: "Dude, you are so sexy I could do you on the East High basketball court. Did you catch that Zeference?" Learn it. Live it. Love it.

xoxo
Gossip Gay

Looking for Love On All the Wrong Websites

2007-12-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

It seems like the search for love is a craze that is spreading through the dorms of NYU. A certain latin lover (who was previously linked with an unnamed Brittany Hall JAP) residing in Rubin recently posted a personal ad in search for his true love - cocaine. The posting described this hispanic hottay as "18/145 lbs/very good looking/latino/5'11." With stats like that, it's surprising he has yet to find true love. When this ad was discovered, we sent a team of private investigators to authenticate its validity.

See here as we have come to the conclusion that the picture matches with actual ones of the individual from his personal webpage.

As you can see, the shape of the nose in the picture is a direct match with that of the picture below. The clothes and sunglasses seem to have been purchased at the same stores. Even the other individual in this picture has her head cocked in the same manner. In fact, the team of photographic researchers have come to the conclusion that the two are actually the exact same picture, except the one above has been cropped slightly to hide its true identity. A clever move, one must agree.

By the way this personal ad is titled, we can infer that this "18yo" is "looking for hot ski male." He then goes on to state that he will "deffinetly [sic] accomodate your needs" if he finds " a dude to ski w[ith]." He writes, "i want to experiment, and by that i mean every kind of way."
One might find it unusual that he is looking to ski in a city like New York. However, our personal linguists have deduced that "ski" is a slang term meaning "to snort cocaine," according to urbandictionary.com.

In conclusion, after days of tiresome research, we have uncovered that this latin lover is only in search for love - something that the rest of us all long for. I applaud his courage in the face of adversity. I do hope he finds the ~~coke~~ love that he longs for.

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

Blonde Vixen a Blonde Whore

2007-12-04T09:52:00.000-08:00

Just a day after she was spotted departing for a late-night canoodling sesh with a certain troll-like diarist, the Blonde Vixen was seen spitting game to Hot Janitor #2 in the elevator.

A close source also overheard BlondeVix recently taunting an adorable brunette, DBgirl, about DB's janitor boyfriend. "I already tapped dat shit," she said, as Hot Janitor #1 passed in the c-yard. Damn! Why so greedy, BV?

SAD Looking for Love

2007-11-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

One blonde vixen in the East Tower was seen leaving a room party with the suspected asexual diarist (SAD) tonight. She then refused to answer text messages questioning her whereabouts, according to a one source. Though there are suspicions of a possible late-night kanoodling session, this snow white beauty might not be his cup of tea. We have dug up a Craig's List Personal Ad that was most likely submitted by the sensative diarist.

READ HERE!!

Let's just say, he likes his women like he likes his coffee....

Wrap Your Tool,
DSL

On The Scene: The C-Yard

2007-11-29T19:05:00.000-08:00

Spotted: Hipster Heartbreaker, KP, chatting with Dykey McDykerson about a certain suitmaker from the Far East. Is there love in the air? or war?

XOXO,
Gossip Gay

P.S. Nice bangs KP.

Maintanence Staff and Student In Interracial Relationship

2007-11-29T17:45:00.000-08:00

A 3N resident of Asian descent is rumoured to be in a relationship with a maintenance staff member. This sexi mexi was smitten by the NYU freshman, formerly rumoured to be dating a certain Pete Wentz look alike. The two were spotted doing the old-in-out in the second floor trash room. Will this finally convince Pete to come out of the closet?

Love and Kisses,
The Grape Dutchess

Missing Items Found in C3 Study Lounge?

2007-11-29T17:31:00.000-08:00

This morning, in the early pre-dawn hours in New York, NY, in the little-known-about Study Lounge on floor C3 of Third Avenue North, a series of items recently believed stolen were found stuffed in between two oddly-stained couch cushions. The items disappeared from the East Tower around one week ago, and have been dearly missed.

"I'm pissed," says one crazy bitch who's 100-dollar bill was taken from her many nights ago.
"I'm pissed," says another crazy bastard about a hat he lost in someone's pillows recently.

These two items, along with several others, were found this morning on C3. Third North security officers and janitorial staff members have no leads in the investigation, but according to inside source DBgirl, who apparently has a close and personal relationship with one particular janitor, the investigation is underway and the criminal will soon be caught.
we keep you updated.
reporting live from new york new york, zip code 10003,

peace,

supercut cracKhouse.

Throw Down!

2007-11-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

Spotted: Angry dyke blowing a gasket at personal assistant. Reason? Cold coffee, Late Sandwich. Rumour has it that asexual diarist responsible for the delay. Apparently, he took a detour on St. Marks for a new tool to satisfy his drug induced stupor. Is there truth in these allegations? Only time will tell.

XOXO,
Gossip Gay

Blind (Lesbian?) Item

2007-11-29T15:56:00.000-08:00

I guess now that Zac is offic. out of the closet, many others will follow suit! Starting with unidentified Third North hottie with a new butch haircut. This c-yard frequenter chopped 7+ inches off of her trademark mane. Could these dykey locks be an indicator of a love for clam licking? She sure hasn't been spotted with a male of the straight persuasion in quite some time...Then again who has? This is NYU afterall!

Please alert us of any spottings of c-yard hottay with any flannel wearing carpet munchers!

XOXO,
The Grape Dutchess

Zac Efron Confirms Love For Texting, Penis

2007-11-29T15:53:00.000-08:00

NYU erupted with joy today after Zefron confirmed his (blatant) homosexuality via a series of text messages photographed from a BlackBerry belonging to a source close to the homo himself. However, that is not all that was revealed by these scandalous pics! According to the messages, Vanessa Hudgens is also with child...not Zac's obviously, due to the fact he can't get it up for her [Baby] V.

PICS WILL BE POSTED SOON.

Hugz N Luv,
The Grape Dutchess