You Got Swiped.

New York, New York: a city of passion, crimes, and misdemeanors. At least for some of our very favorite 3N partygoers. This weekend got off to a particularly rocky start for six infamous 3Ners: SoTo blunt-rolling, scarf-wearing Rapunzel, pale-faced wino JAP from Dirty Jers, Pete Shitshow Wentz (in his hot espresso trench), Brittany's resident homo divo, SoTo celebutante-lookalike, and Northern Chestnut-Haired Princess. The six were spotted outside of the hot 21st Street club Porky's near midnight surrounded by four burly New York Policemen, 1 giant angry black bouncer, and a few of the club managers. From a distance, it was hard to discern exactly what was going on, but sources close to these outlaws gave us an inside scoop. It seems these danger-loving crazies attempted to enter, at approximately 11:30, the aforementioned nightclub Porky's. It seems the underage 3Ners, when asked to present proper identification, handed over false identifications-- and not even good ones. (It is later revealed that not all six of them presented their licenses. Last in Line Canadian Princess managed to sneak out in back. She has denied any involvement with the situation.) In response to this blatant law-breaking act, the angry bouncer pulled the group, now five, out on to the street where he pulled out a cellphone and dialed 9-1-1.

A blaring police car then screeched to the curb and encircling the kids, demanded proper identification. Slowly, and ashamed, they handed over their underage licences. After about a 20-minute wait in the cold evening air, the five were given back their cards along with an NYPD Summons for a court date in the spring. (Rumor has it, Northern Diva is suspected by her friends to have given sexual favors to the policemen in exchange for citizenship. She has once again denied any involvement.)

Later on in the night, in a bold attempt to drown themselves in their newfound miseries, the group gathered at their fave trendy dive bar for some harmless partying. Unfortunately for one of them, their night of run-ins with the law had not ended. Celebutante-Lookalike, in the style of Paris Hilton, had her cellphone (and wallet) swiped by an unknown thief. And to add to the tragedy, her important Summons was inside the wallet, which further complicated her sadness. There are no leads on the case, and the chances of return are very slim.

Well kids, you got swiped. Hard. First your ID's, then your personal belongings. Looks like you maybe you should work more on being reasonable and less on being shitshows.

Good Luck,
supercut crackhouse
MrsTambourineManQoGPaL

PS- Spotted: Italian Stallion leaving the East Tower residence of green-loving Greek diva Friday night looking... satisfied. Could it be that something (or someone) else was swiped that adventure-filled night? Or could an age gap lead to goodnights for this Tony and his Maria?